I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
