Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
