And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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