That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
