I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
