she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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