I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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