I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
