Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
