i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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