I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
