I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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