I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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