she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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