So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
