you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
