Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
