I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize