forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
