If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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