Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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