gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
