I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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