I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
