the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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