i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
