I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
