It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he thought i was a dude.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's always time for handjobs
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
