In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
