Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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