Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
