He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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