I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
