someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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