Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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