he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
