im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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