We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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