Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
