it was like his penis was on wheels.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
