what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
