I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
