awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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