think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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