would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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