Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
