even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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