I think i peed on brittanys purse
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
