I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
