Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
