I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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