he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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