Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
