It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
