I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
