I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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