u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
