1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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