Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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